Last nite me & my mom were watching a story about a doctor who developed Alzheimer’s disease. When her family realized that she had been living with the disease, she had had it for years. Living alone and the disease being undetected, resulted in her signing over her estimated $1.5 million Fort Greene brownstone, in exchange for paying off her mortgage debt. Her house was sold for a measley $200,000 - the cost of her mortgage debt. She had contacted the man believing that he was a subprime lender - one who lends to borrowers who do not qualify for loans from mainstream lenders.
My mother and I have spoken openly about her health whether she be elderly, incompatent, or on her deathbed. Being the only child and her being a nurse, she’s seen how people are treated by their families. And when she speaks of the senior citizens she has stressed to me how she wants to be cared for. As her child, it’s my job to follow those wishes out as best as possible.
I’ve shared this with you to say - as adults we all have to show some concern with the care our parents and grandparents receive when they are not able to do it for themselves. I understand some of you may not speak to your parents or grandparents or maybe you have already laid your parent(s) to rest. In that case, ask your brother(s), sister(s), or spouse how they wish to be cared for.
There are people that lurk out there that prey on the elderly and handicapped. There are nurses in nursing homes that harm the patients, as well as home health aides that will do it in the patient’s house.
We hear the commercials on the TV about someone passing away and they had no life insurance or savings. As much as you may want to avoid the thought of death or severe illness of a loved one, you have to Man-Up and ask questions that have crucial importance to the health of that person. Studies have recently shown that only 13% of African-Americans have life insurance that is 3x their annual income. We have to step this up so that we can at least live economically comfortable during our retirement.
Here are questions that you should ask, so if the situation were to arise you know what they would want and you’re not guessing.
1. If they need an operation, and they have to get a blood transfusion, do they want a relative to donate the blood or will they take the blood that is in the hospital?
2. If they were to be on life support, do they want you to keep they on a machine? How long?
3. If they were to pass away of natural causes, do they want you to donate their organs?
4. Do they have life insurance? Have they been contributing to it regularly?
5. Are there any illnesses that run in the family (i.e heart disease, diabetes, hypertension/ high blood pressure, cancer[s])?
6. Do they go to the doctor annually? ( Do you go to the doctor annually?)
7. Discuss how they feel about nursing homes and assisted living facilities. How do you feel about putting them there? Would you want them to live with you?
8. Who else should know these Q&A’s so that they also know what to do.
9. What kind of health insurance do they currently have? Should there be any options that ya’ll should look into for the future (i.e retirement)?
10. How do they wish to be buried - Cremated or buried? Is there any where inparticular that they wish to be buried at?
You may think that this post is a bit ‘Out There’, but trust me you will feel more at ease when you know that if there were a crisis you would know how to address the situation. Honestly, I do.
As much as you do not want to think about your parent(s) or loved ones passing on, we all should know these things so that we can continue to care for them they way that they wish to be cared for. God forgive if you do something that they may not have wanted or that makes them more ill then they were before.
~f@ke
