Gear. Life. Money. Music - It’s ALL f@ke

Funny Graduation Gifts June 13, 2007

Filed under: gifts & sentimentals — flashyjazzy @ 9:46 am

When you graduate from High School or College you usually get sentimental gifts and you end the day with a party or celebration.

Stick in a quirky gift and give the Grad a good laugh.

Urban Outfitters had one or two comical gifts that could earn a chuckle or two. But be weary it can ruffle some feathers.
p366478b.jpg Urban Outfitters $24

p371764b.jpg Urban Outfitters $9.95
This book looks interesting… Good coffee table book?

p371773.jpg Urban Outfitters $14.95
This lil’ Guy is school in a box, literally. Coming complete with textbooks, medical flashcards, and a Med School In A Box Diploma

p372774.jpg Urban Outfitters $14.95
This is the same thing. A Law textbook, Heroes Of The Courtroom Trading Cards, Law School Challenge Test, and a Law School In A Box Diploma.

~f@ke

 

I Didn’t Forget About You Ladies… June 13, 2007

Filed under: bags & accessories, fashionistas unite! — flashyjazzy @ 9:18 am

As we continue on…

Ladies, do you want a pair of nice shades too?

Over at 80s Purple, they have a gang of shades, from $15 - $400. For Men and Women.

The choses are endless, so I’m just gonna give you an overload of what I thought were HOT or Noteworthy. And they even have a womens line for the Stussy eyewear that I mentioned for the fellas.

I love shades they make me feel like I’m this extra important person or that I’m incognegro in the busy streets of Manhattan ;)

If you like the site and you want to buy a pair of shades use the code: Summershades at checkout and get Free Ground Shipping.

~f@ke

 

Chillin’ In The Shade, Drinkin’ A Glass Of Lemonade June 13, 2007

Filed under: bags & accessories, fashionistas unite! — flashyjazzy @ 8:31 am

Ain’t No Half Steppin’…
You need some shades, Man!!!

Stussy, one of many clothing brands that I like to call Urban Couture, has some eyewear out. And just like their shirts, these shades are ‘Fresh To Def’.

If you are a man and you are Hip Hop and you don’t know about Stussy, get from under your rock and find out about them. They are one of the ‘IT’ brands to have in your waredrobe.

Since I’m a girl, and I believe that detail is what makes the outfit. Accessorize!!! Add a smooth touch to shorts and a t-shirt. Sunglasses. If you were glasses, stepped it up a notch and get make your shades prescription shades, so you can be stylish and be able to see the girls watching, even if you’re the one who knows that your shades are prescriptions. Only people who care about you worry about your health. Strangers just like to see Eyecandy, shit who doesn’t.

Now the Stussy brand is not cheap, hence why I say it is Urban Couture. Couture is by far not cheap.

The sunglasses range from about $80 - $100, Not that bad…

Want to see more?
Check out Stussy
Or 80s Purple (they have the full Summer 2007 eyewear line and their prices are cheaper)

Note to the Ladies… Get your man a pair of Pimp’d out shades as a gift. They’ll make anyone feel important
~f@ke

 

A Pants Worth June 13, 2007

Filed under: news — flashyjazzy @ 7:57 am

Would you pay $54 Million for a pair of dress pants????

Roy Pearson, a judge in Washington, DC thinks someone should.

He has filed a civil suit claim seeking $54 million in damages. Apparently, his local Dry Cleaners misplaced his pants and he had to wait several days for them to find them.

Mr. Pearson took his pants to the Custom Cleaners, owned Korean immigrants Jin and Soo Chung. Mr. Pearson said that he was caught by their claim of ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’.

Now, it is funny because, Mr. Pearson claims in his court papers that he had brought a pair of pants to Custom cleaners in 2002, and they were lost. Custom Cleaners gave a check for $150 to resolve the issue. Like an idiot, three years later he brought another pair of pants to Custom Cleaners, and guess what… They lost them.

He demanded $1200 for a new suit. Custom Cleaners first offered $3000, then $4600, finally $12,000 to settle. He declined the final offer and upped the price. Now Mr. Pearson is a lawyer and with that he obviously used his skills to his advantage.

Mr. Pearson believes he is entitled to $1,500 for each consumer protection law violation, each day during which the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign and another sign promising “Same Day Service” was up in the store — more than 1,200 days.

And he’s multiplying each violation by three because he’s suing Jin and Soo Chung and their son. He also wants $500,000 in emotional damages and $542,500 in legal fees, even though he is representing himself in court. He wants $15,000 for 10 years’ worth of weekend car rentals. He said he needs the car to get his dry cleaning to a store outside his neighborhood. He is also seeking other fees.

So let’s do the math:
$1,500 per protection law violation x 1,200 days = $1,800,000.00
$1,800,000.00 x 2 ( total number of protection law violations) = $3,600,000.00
$3,600,000.00 x 3 ( number of defendants being suied) = $10,800,000.00
$500,000 emotional damages + $542,500 = $1,042,500.00
$15,000 x 10 = $150,000
$10,800,000 + $1,042,500.00 + $150,000 = $11,992,500.00

Then he his seeking money for other fees. That is about $43 Million in other fees. Damn!

This is an ridiculous case. The pants cost about $800. The Chungs claim to have found the pants a week after Mr. Pearson came to pick them up. The pants have the ticket matching his receipt. But Mr. Pearson says that the pants are not his pants.

It will cost the taxpayers in D.C. $2,500 a day to process this case. They have been in legal battle for over two years. The judge who finally did hear the case threw it out and it is now in the hands of another judge and so the Chungs will have to continue to pay legal fees for this frivilous case.

Mr. Pearson went as far as breaking down and crying on the stand when re-encountering the ordeal he went through with Custom Cleaners.

Here’s why I’m mad—

1. He is a man, or rather a consumer who is abusing his rights
2. He is a black man and could be using his legal skills for something far more productive
3. He wants $54 FUCKING MILLION!!!!!!!
4. We ALL know he’s not getting it. If The Chung’s had $54 Million would they even have a Dry Cleaning business anymore??
5. This Jerk-off originally was seeking $64 Million, but dropped to a lesser amount
6. It’s messed up that America allows cases like this fruition. But innocent people get convicted without a fair trial
7. Mr. Pearson… You need some good, toe-curling, see fireworks Pun-tangy!!! Release some stress, MAN!!!!!!!!

~f@ke

 

A Jim Jones Reincarnate? June 13, 2007

Filed under: news — flashyjazzy @ 6:55 am

And I’m not talking about the rapper, Jim Jones, but the real Jim Jones, founder of The People’s Temple, he was the guy who forced hundreds (914 in total: 638 adults, 276 children) to drink red kool-aid, which had cyanide in it. There were said to be other drugs/ poisons given, which aided in the killing of his followers that went to Jonestown, which was in a part of the jungle in Guyana.

Jim Jones deceived hundreds of people in the 1970’s. The People’s Temple was made to be an inter-racial group of homeless, jobless, and the ill people. Because the Vietnam War was well in action, most of the worshippers were looking for somewhere to call home and Jim Jones provided just that for them. The People’s Temple moved from Indiana and relocated to California. Once in California, they would travel to different parts of Cali and Jim Jones would preach to lure in new worshippers.

Now what made Jim Jones so unique in the 70’s was that he had a way of preaching his ’social’ gospel, like if he were black. He wore a rope and sunglasses (to hide his drugged up eyes) at the pulpit. It is said that while living in Indiana he found a black church and became interested in how the preacher preached the word to the congregation. From there Jim Jones picked up that style of preaching and used it to being his own congregation.

Overall, The People’s Temple were a group of people that were looking for a place or even a person to look to. All the while they wanted reassurance and looked to hear that all would be alright in the long run. I guess when you have young adults going out to fight a senseless war and die, people start to feel a sense of hopelessness (that sounds a bit familiar doesn’t it). Jim Jones provided that safehaven and illusion. Kids fresh out of high school, young families, the elderly, and the sick all fell for the promises that Jim Jones preached.

“He preached a ’social gospel’ of human freedom, equality, and love, which required helping the least and the lowliest of society’s members. Later on, however, this gospel became explicitly socialistic, or communistic in Jones’ own view, and the hypocrisy of white Christianity was ridiculed while ‘apstolic socialism’ was preached.”

Basically, socialistic or socialism is a political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. (Yes, that was the actual definition.)

The People’s Temple were taught to give all of their pay to the church for tithe. And they were also required to work for the church to keep it functioning which resulted in many only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a day. The basic necessities were provided for the followers, food, clothes, bills were paid, and they received helthcare. Not bad right? Whatever. The elderly were conned into selling their homes and giving the profit to The People’s Temple, in exchange for living in a nursing home on the church’s property.

Jim Jones had preached that he could heal the sick. He printed a booklet where he said that the bible contained contradictions, absurdities, and atrocities. But he also said that the bible had great truths. Jones claimed to have been the reincarnation of Jesus, Lenin, and other leaders.

With that brief History lesson, I will introduce who I feel is a similar person who’s claiming to be Jesus AND the Antichrist. Yes, both. And YES, crack does fry your brain :)

His name is Jose de Jesus. He is a 61 year old, native Puerto Rican, who now resides outside of Houston, TX. He is claiming to be Jesus and his gospel is as twisted as any other cracked-out cult leader. Jose preaches to his congregation, Growing In Grace, that he is the Second Coming of Jesus, and also claims the title of Antichrist, which to him is the next incarnation of Jesus on earth, not an evil being. (Oh, boy!!) Claiming to be the Second Coming of Jesus and the title of Antichrist, he says you can not do no harm in the presence of Jesus (him). His theory is if Jesus died on the cross for our sins, then they no longer exist and therefore there is no such thing as committing a sin when in his (Jose’s) presence. So that means that drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and divorce to name a few, which in Christian or other religions would be looked at as a sin, under Jose de Jesus is looked at as normal behavior. He himself has been married twice, drinks Dewar’s scotch, and smokes cigarettes. The women of his following even dress provocatively. But if you commit a crime, say like robbery or murder, he says that when you are imprisoned in jail, you are serving your punishment and it is on Earth that you are to do such a thing. There is no Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. So there is no after life to preserve your soul for.

His following is of mostly Hispanic immigrants. But his goal is to be able to preach his gospel in English and catch the ears of English speaking Americans. Having a seal resembling the presidential seal, he sometimes refers to himself as the president of God’s government on Earth. Most of his followers believe that because they can see Jose de Jesus and in all other religions you base your beliefs on faith and the Holy Spirit, Growing In Grace is the right place to be. Their Jesus Christ is in the flesh and they are able to visibly see his ‘miracles’. One follower was told one day, a few years ago by his father, that Jesus Christ came to him in a dream and in that dream Jesus Christ was wearing a suit. So when the follower first saw Jose de Jesus, he believed he was the man that his father saw in his dream.

Jose de Jesus and other members of his congregation have gone as far as getting tattoed with the ‘Mark of The Beast” (666). This is a way to show their devotion to Growing In Grace. What kind of Fuckery is that?!?!?!?!

I say that he sounds like a Jim Jones reincarnate because his congregation like The People’s Temple are devout worshippers and they do not worship a spiritual being, but a human being, someone who is mortal, who can bleed when badly injured, and who claims to be the flesh form of Jesus Christ. He claims that his mission is to save people from the misery of their life on Earth. If they tithe 10% of their income and make additional offerings, he promises that prosperity will then follow. He can achieve this result, he says, because he is God.

The People’s Temple as I stated in the beginning of this piece were required to give their whole income and in return received a $3-$5 allowance. The Growing In Grace, one couple went as far as donating $1 Million Dollars, and one man gives 10% of his unemployment check.

I mention these two gentlemen to point out that there will be many more who claim to be the resurrected form of Jesus Christ and there will be those who profess to be able to perform acts of healing and have special powers. If you are some what familiar with the Bible than you would know that majority of the world events that we see on the news have heavy connections with the Book Of Relevelations.

In the Bible in the Book of Matthew, verse 24:5 it reads ” For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ’, and will deceive many”.
Matthew 24:23-27 it also reads ” At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time.
“So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the desert,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.”

In the Book of Mark verse 13:5 it reads ” Jesus said to them: “Watch out that no one deceives you. Many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and will deceive many. When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains”.
Mark 13:12 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved”.
And Mark 13:21-23 reads ” At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or, ‘Look, there he is!’ do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and miracles to deceive the elect—if that were possible. So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time”.

In the Book of II Corinthians 11:13-15 it reads ” For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve”.

In these times we all have to be careful who and what we choose to believe for various reasons. Who are we to question the works of the Creator. If we as human beings are soooo fucking smart, then there should have been far more advanced inventions besides the telephone, fire, and the wheel. People kill me when they say they need concrete facts to believe. If we created this world then we would be a smarter race, hence making sure Bush wasn’t elected for a second term. Or believing that Osama Bin Laden really blew up the World Trade Centers.

I’ve only been alive for 25 yrs and within those 25 yrs I have developed a realistic outlook on life. I am not an over dreamer. I see things as what they are- raw and true. If the truth hurts - keep a kleenex tissue in your pursue, ya heard!!

I say that to say, I’ve noticed that we as people are like sheep. We flock where it looks good. If you look at endless counts of historical instances you can see that it would take one angry person to get a crowd riled up. That is the sheep affect. It’s a tactic that has an affective response. Next time you are in a crowd and you do not agree witht he ring leader, wee how the other people in the group react, you might be surprised. Then see how long it takes you to fold and give in.

This piece was written with a sense of urgency. For my Latino family and also for those out there who are seeking some form of spiritual guidance. There will be many who will follow in this man’s footsteps and claim to be a Jesus Christ, God, or great healer. Please do not believe them and look into your heart for some form of spiritual guidance. Shit, do research and look into the many ancient religions and find the one that best fits your spirit and soul. I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and I know who I believe in. But I am not here to sway you with my beliefs, I am here to help you find a clear path for the faith that you feel is best for you. But note that the scriptures that I listed are a few of many all coming from a book that was created at hundreds of years ago.
~f@ke